The Comfort of Not Knowing

The menu was fully vegan. That was enough for some people to stay home.

It made me think. Especially because this dinner was for International Women’s Day, a day about dignity, respect and freedom from violence.

And I realized something.

For me, non violence is not something I apply only when it is comfortable, it is not a principle that changes depending on the situation.

If I celebrate empowerment but ignore other forms of harm that are socially accepted, something feels incomplete.

Not wrong. Just incomplete.

That is why the menu mattered.

Not because it was trendy, but because it reflects the ethical base of the space I am building.

I often speak about balance, awareness and alignment but I never said clearly what is fundamental for me: inside Equanima, non-violence is not optional.

At the same time, I want to be honest:

I know vegans who are not balanced, I know vegans who feel sad, depressed or disconnected.

I also know people who are not vegan, or not plant based, who say they feel perfectly at peace with themselves.

And I also include myself in this reflection: I have been plant based for ten years and vegan for two; I often feel lost, sometimes tired, sometimes emotionally heavy.

I am not constantly happy.

So what am I really saying?

Plant based is a diet: it describes what you eat.

Veganism is more than that.

The Vegan Society defines veganism as a philosophy and way of living that tries to exclude, as far as possible, all forms of exploitation and cruelty to animals, for food, clothing or any other purpose.

Anonymous for the Voiceless defines veganism as the ethical principle that humans should live without exploiting other animals.

So yes, it is about food, but also about leather, wool, silk, cosmetics, entertainment and daily consumer choices.

Plant based changes your plate, veganism questions how you live.

Here is the uncomfortable part: you can feel calm inside a system you have never questioned but peace without awareness is not always alignment.

If something is normal in your culture, your mind does not see the conflict. The fact that you feel no discomfort does not automatically mean you are in harmony.

So how do I explain non vegans who truly feel at peace?

My theory is simple: there is a difference between peace you have examined and peace you have never challenged.

If you never visit a slaughterhouse, never see how leather is made, never think about what is behind a packaged product in the supermarket, your body does not react.

There is no immediate danger. No alarm.

Your nervous system stays quiet.

But sometimes that quiet comes from distance.

It is easier to feel calm when the violence is far away, when the suffering is hidden, when the story is “this is just normal.”

Distance protects you, it reduces inner friction.

But the absence of discomfort does not always mean integrity.

Sometimes it simply means you are not looking closely.

Real harmony is different: it means that what I consume, what I support and what I believe can exist together without contradiction.

At the same time, veganism does not solve everything.

It does not heal your childhood wounds, does not remove insecurity, It does not fix loneliness.

You can be ethically aligned and still struggle emotionally.

For me, veganism is not the full answer: it is the starting point.

It removes one layer of contradiction: living well while another being pays the price.

From there, the deeper inner work begins.

This is not about feeling morally superior, it is about refusing to build inner peace on top of normalized harm.

For me, loving yourself cannot stop at your own skin, if your compassion does not extend beyond your species, it is still selective. And selective compassion has limits.

Veganism is not the end of the journey but it is the beginning of coherence.

I did not become vegan because of ideology. I did not make a big announcement.

I simply told myself: I will try for one week. Let’s see.

Just one week.

After seven days, something shifted inside me: I felt lighter, clearer and quiet in a different way.

It was alignment.

Going back to consuming animal products after that week would not have felt neutral anymore.

It would have felt like ignoring something I had already understood.

One week became two. Two became three. And then it was no longer an experiment. It was a line I did not want to cross again.

That is what I mean when I speak about distance.

Before that week, I felt calm, stable and my nervous system was quiet.

But it was quiet because I had never brought the full reality close enough.

When I finally did, the silence changed.

It was no longer the calm of not knowing. It became the calm of coherence.

And once you experience that kind of alignment, going back feels louder than staying.

So let me ask you:

Are you at peace… or just protected by distance?